Hi again!
One of the things that is currently living rent-free inside my head is the one advice I’d give to the younger generation, a piece of advice that, if I knew at their age, I might have become a happier person. It is a thought that has been on loop since last month, when I recently saw one of my nieces (my cousin’s daughter) who wants to become a doctor and studies very hard without other pre-occupations in life.
Did I see myself in her? Not really. I had a TON of pre-occupations growing up.
I think it’s because of her age, her big dream, and the very large chance that she’d be having a big 18th birthday party next year where I’d probably land in one of the 18 blue bills (yet again). So yes, this speech is a product of overthinking.
We’ve all heard a lot of well-wishes and prayers for your success along with the usual ‘hard work pays off’ and ‘study hard so you’ll be successful and make good choices’ throughout the night. It shows how much you are loved and cared for.
However, as a millenial first daughter of an Asian household, I think that if I say the same thing, I’d be doing you a disservice. I should give you something different, a piece of advice that I wish someone told me when I was growing up. It’s a very short piece of advice. Just three magical words. And with these words, I think I would’ve become a happier person a whole lot easier.
Never fear failure.
You see, failure is one thing every single one of us do our best to avoid. Nobody wants to fail. It is a troublesome and bothersome affair. But, as the years rolled on, I realized that I can’t really avoid it. It is something that will happen no matter how hard I plan and be five, ten, fifteen steps ahead of everything. There is always that chance for me to fail. Sometimes, the unfortunate happens and I end up standing beside it, hating myself and berating myself for failing. I see it as a stain on my name, a ugly mark on my record, and be miserable.
In doing so, I am also failing – in learning. You see, failure provides us – and at times, forces us – to see things from another angle and teaches us how to do and be better next time. If we look at it that way, we gain something from it and eventually grow.
It took me a long time to learn how to work with failure because I saw it as an enemy when it isn’t the real enemy. The real enemy is fear. Fear paralyzes you. It prevents you from learning and growing by keeping you in the same spot, keeping your world and your life small.
So as a newly-minted woman of this family – and our family is known to have strong, independent women, I tell you to be fearless and live your life the way you want it. Never let fear and failure hold you back from being the best version of you there is.
Happy birthday!
Until next time, Anj