One afternoon, my officemate/friends and I were discussing how to tell our (future, hypothetical) kids about sex. How do we talk about something mature and sensitive to our own kids, who are probably exposed to this matter in so many places we can’t control especially when we aren’t with them? Such a long sentence! TwT
I have this vague memory of being a fourth grader and my teacher started discussing the reproductive system. Said teacher mentioned the word “balls” and some of my guy classmates snickered. I was just intent on studying and making a grade so I had no reaction to that.
When I entered high school, some of my classmates were already sexually active which is considered inappropriate in the Philippines. In this country, everyone is expected to abstain from sex and stay chaste until marriage as that is what is taught to us by the Church. Years later, I was made aware that in some countries, being sexually active at a rather young age (around 16 or so) is actually the norm. In addition, I realized that only a portion of the Catholics in this country practice the whole ‘stay pure’ teaching. Virgins are rare. People do what they want to do with the person they love regardless of what others say. YOLO, I suppose… or love, perhaps?
So, having a kid exposed to this at a (probably) young age, how the heck do you explain this subject without embarrassing yourself and your kid? I honestly have no idea how to do that. I read somewhere (sorry, I couldn’t find it anymore) that it is best to be very honest and transparent with a kid — none of that stork business and birds and bees and whatnot.
When I was in high school, my mom gave me some form of The Talk twice — while watching this British movie called “Love Actually” where two people are involved in making a pornography film (I was watching that for Hugh Grant!) and when one of my cousins got pregnant and ended up in a shotgun marriage. I was asked “Do you understand what happened?” I just said yes because I did understand. I learned it in school and well, from the media. I was, then, told to be careful with myself because I am a girl. That was that.
One of my friends is comfortable to do The Talk with a son because it seems easier to explain and cap it with a “don’t get anyone pregnant” rule/tip/advise. It was also brought up that the Dad should talk to the daughter instead for the ultimate bonding experience. Idk what I would’ve felt if my dad gave me the talk. I would feel totes weird. Haha.
I imagine myself doing it the same way that Mameha did in the movie Memoirs of a Geisha. During the period when Sayuri was getting ready to give her mitsuage to the highest bidder, Mameha told her about the eel and the cave — how “a man’s eel likes to visit a woman’s cave”. Sayuri tells Mameha that she knows because she lives with Hatsumomo, another geisha who is in the same house as Sayuri. I think that my husband would face palm at the explanation and take over from there because I probably get lost along the conversation once my kid says “I know, Mom”. His/her surroundings already did the job for me. I wouldn’t know how to nicely change the topic from that point because I’d be thinking “did I just embarrass myself in front of my kid?”
How would you tell your kids about sex? If you already have kids, how did you tell them about it? Please feel free to share so that we can all learn from each other.
XOXO,
Anj
PS: My first “future life” post! Yay! This is the first time I have written something like this so please let me know what you think as well. Should I write more posts that talk about growing up/adulting, and life in general? 